Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
