I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
