Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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