Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize