party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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