Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
