Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
