The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
