That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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