Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
