new low.... made out with someone while peeing
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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