how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize