You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
