just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
