So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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