I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
