Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
