dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize