even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
