i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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