You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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