Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
