How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
