Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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