haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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