You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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