it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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