so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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