Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
