Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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