speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
