i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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