I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize