We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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