if you like me you must not know who I am
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
