absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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