im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
