I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
ttyl tear gas
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
