he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
