he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
