Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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