theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
