Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
