Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
