Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
