What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
