Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
its not stalking. its research.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
