i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
