trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize