what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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