woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize