I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
