He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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