my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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