If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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