Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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