problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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