Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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