We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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