Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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