Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
